It’s been awhile!

I KNOW! It’s been a while! Four years actually! I’m still on Planet Earth! Are you?
What derailed me? I’ll blame a move in 2016 followed by hubby David’s move to Heaven in 2018.

This photo is David and Judy holding fifty balloons commemorating our golden wedding anniversary (that he missed by two months). The truth is I wailed on June 8, 2018. The day of his memorial service. The same day as our long-awaited golden. “Lord, fifty years ago my groom was waiting for me at the altar. And he’s gone!” God’s instant response parked hope alongside my grief: “Judy, your groom is waiting for you at the throne of the King of Kings!”

During David’s illness the Lord told Author Judy to take good notes for an upcoming book: How Our Family Survived the Valley of the Shadow of Death: The Shepherd Showed Up! I’ve taken copious notes and have written twelve out of the twenty-five chapters. Also, in the works: His Majesty in Brokenness has been recorded by Antoinette Gaines, a professional narrator, and we’re currently awaiting the green light to make it available to Audible’s listening audience.

And yes, the Good Shepherd continues to show up in my new life as a widow. Needless to say my learning curve has been steep, regarding finances, property maintenance, grief recovery. Living again! For This I Have Jesus! has become my hourly theme song. I’ve, also, been singing the song as the Corona-virus pandemic has snarfed out life as we knew it. I expect you’ll agree – 2020 has been a bear of a year! And yet let us not forget: FOR THIS WE HAVE JESUS!!!

Hold fast to the Shepherd of Psalm 23. He’s got a strong grip on each one of us. And He won’t let go!

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Setting Captives Free

Just home from another Broken and Beautiful Retreat. The venue was the Women’s South Coast Christian Conference held at Brookings, Oregon’s Church of the Nazarene.

I prayed each time I was wheeled up the steep ramp to the stage: Lord, use me to bring good news to the afflicted, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners. Isaiah 61:1

Yes, the Lord has set this prisoner free and what a privilege to share my exit-from-captivity story. His story.

JudySquier_Brookings_4-23-16cMy goal was for each of the 150 women attending the conference to be able to look in the mirror and say, “I AM BEAUTIFUL.”My traveling companion and I practiced. Neither of us could move beyond, “I’m ugly.” (And that was after we’d gotten all of our make-up on.)

I asked one of the conference attendees how she faired with the assignment. She was pleased to tell me she was comfortable looking in the mirror and saying, “You are beautiful.”

But when I asked her if she could say, “I am beautiful.” She cringed and wasn’t sure.

Come to find out, we aren’t alone. Michele Cushatt in her 9/30/15 blog reports that ninety six percent of women globally would not describe themselves as beautiful. Even women who know they are made in the image of God. (

JudySquier_5-4-16_LeslieKingBeautyActually, Leslie was the only one I spoke to, who qualified for the other four percent. I crowned her the Winner for the Weekend as she unreservedly and jubilantly announced to me individually and later on from the stage, “I am beautiful!”

Oh, Beautiful Leslie, your Downs syndrome has set you free. Please pray for the rest of us who have succumbed to this world’s captivity.

JudySquier_5-4-16_BookmarksBelieving Ephesians 1:11a is key in changing our focus from our brokenness to our beauty. Each woman was given one of these bookmarks and invited to tape it to her mirror and to fill in her name and the date when she was able to see herself as a Gift to God.

My transparency gave the women permission to be real. A guiding principle as I write and give speeches is: “A group’s depth of sharing is set by the first person to speak. Deep sharing (and healing) happens when the first to speak is vulnerable, honest and real.”

No one misses my very visible brokenness, but what about my invisible broken places? As usual I talked openly about my less obvious emotional and spiritual areas of weakness. My stubborn, strong will. Yes, I have unbelief. My middle name is Much Afraid. And, yes, I’ve been known to be a hothead – just ask my husband, David.

Masks came off as I told tales of hysteria regarding my three mission trips to the physically challenging Romania. And it’s true I shook a fist or two at the Lord when my wheelchair was lost somewhere during international flights. Does no good deed go unpunished? Having delivered 150 wheelchairs so that Romanians wouldn’t have to crawl, guess who crawled that first night home?

JudySquier_5-4-16_JudyRomania“You mean it’s okay to be angry with God?” someone asked at the book table.
My answer: “God longs for dialogue. He’d rather we shake our fists at Him than turn our backs on Him.”

JudySquier_5-4-16_GirlTracingHandMy goose- bumper for the weekend was the gal who opened her spankin’ new Bible asking me to trace my three pronged left hand inside the front cover. Set free was I, by this young woman’s ability to see beauty in my brokenness. A beauty this old world knows nothing of!

To my speaker friends I just have to ask: How many of you have found yourselves eating humble pie in front of your audience? It was my first time and I pray my last as suddenly I realized. Yes, I was steering the women in the wrong direction – Lucifer’s direction – with my assignment to “Look in the mirror and say, ‘I am beautiful.’” Wasn’t Lucifer so enamored by his beauty that his eyes were fixed on himself instead of the Most High God? (Ezekiel 28:12, 17)

As the retreat was ending, I observed that after four one hour talks, we were still no more comfortable saying “I am Beautiful” than when we started. Then the light bulb went on. Did it help to precede ‘I am beautiful’ with the phrase ‘in Christ?’ Yes, adding two words made all the difference in the world.

‘In Christ I am beautiful’ proved to be the ticket. But, of course! That’s it. As Christians, indwelt by the living God, our source of beauty is His beauty. He, and no one else, can transform our broken to beautiful and set us free.

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Where’s Judy? Haven’t heard from her lately.

JudySquier_Blog_2-9-16Here I sit, afraid to open my eyes and behold my treasures in bins on shelves in three different storage units. Imagine all the calories David burned creating this organizational wonder, then lugging every box and bin to its temporary home.

This next photo donned the cover of our 2015 Christmas card.

JudySquier_Blog_2-9-16bHere we sit savoring our park-like front yard in Grants Pass, Oregon.
Could it be we will bid Sheep’s Rest farewell in 2016?
Will we move to the house next door to daughter Elizabeth and her hubby and our four grands in Central Point, Oregon?

God knows, but David and Judy gaze out onto the vast unknown asking
“Lord, what do You have planned?”
Will our beloved house sell?
And will we begin a new real estate chapter
next door to four grands and their twenty eight chickens?
We know not what the future holds –

Busily we work toward the relocation goal –
minimizing, packing
staging our home, then putting it on the market.

And as we work and as we wonder, we are assured of a good outcome because
We know Who holds the future.

God’s got it all figured out. He has scheduled each day of our lives.
Plus He’s the supplier of the energy needed to reach the goal ahead of us.
And the topper: He already has the new house in escrow with the contingency
that we sell our present home.

As we work, as we wonder, as we await His outcome, we’re clinging to Jeremiah 29:11.
May this promise steady any quaking knees – yours as well as ours, as we venture into
God’s gift of another year.

“I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord,
“plans to prosper you, not to harm you – with a future
and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Photo Credit: Scatter Joy Photos

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Merry Pre-Christmas 2015

Are you racing like I am?
(If not, tell me your secret, please.)
I invite you to stop everything! Apply the brakes for a moment.

Judy-Squier_Elisabeth-ElliotA favorite poem of Elisabeth Elliot’s stopped me in my tracks last week. It’s like I could hear her speaking to me from the hallowed grandstands of GLORY. (In case you didn’t know, Elisabeth passed through her own Gates of Splendor on June 15, 2015.)

Decades ago she handed me a copy of the poem Do the Next Thing. It helped me understand how she remained so calm with her life’s busy demands as a writer and a speaker (along with being a mother, a grandmother to eight, a wife, a radio teacher). As the poem calmed dear Elisabeth, I pray it brings shalom to our frenzied pre-Christmas lives – yours and mine!

‘What to do NEXT?’ we all ask, as a dozen urgent and kind deeds vie for center stage. Elisabeth’s answer is Do the Next Thing.

Do The Next Thing
From an old English parsonage,
Down by the sea,
There came in the twilight,
A message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend,
Deeply engraven,
Hath, as it seems to me,
Teaching from Heaven.
And on through the hours
The quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration-
Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment,
Let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity,
Guidance, are given.
Fear not tomorrows,
Child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus,
Do it immediately;
Do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence,
Tracing His Hand,
Who placed it before thee with
Earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence,
Safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all resultings,
Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
(Working or suffering)
Be thy demeanor,
In His dear presence,
The rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance
Be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness,
Praise and sing,
Then, as He beckons thee,
-Author unknown

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The Speaking Tour of a Lifetime

My artificial limbs still recall the sensation of cold feet as I gave my first speech at age thirteen. Dad scheduled it, knowing his daughter Judy would earn no trophies in sports. “But wait a minute,” he reasoned, “she has a mouth that works just fine.”

Being a public speaker has served me well as a published author. As I speak my stories, audiences want to hear more. “Read my books,” I say. And again and again I am told, “Judy, I hear you talking in your books!”

Writing has been an uphill climb for me; on the other hand I gladly accept invitations to speak. However, July 2015 provided this septuagenarian with the speaking challenge of my life. Speeches to write for three new speaking venues with five talks to deliver in 48 hours.

To whom do I say thanks for this stretch-me opportunity? To Jesus and Jannai Pero, who together arranged my best ever speaking tour.

Judy and Jannai, friends forever)Jannai and I met in the San Francisco Bay Area twenty years ago when our children were in elementary and high schools. We’ve stayed in touch over the years. She and her husband John now live on Highway 49 in California’s Gold Country in a little town called Ahwahnee (near Oakhurst). David and I retired in Southern Oregon.

Since 2010,when His Majesty in Brokenness was published, Jannai has tried to land me an invitation to speak at Yosemite Lakes Community Church. Finally in the summer of 2014 she emailed me with the news that her pastor invited me to give the message at their two services in 2015. When could I come?

We all agreed on July 12, 2015 so I excitedly put two talks at her church on my calendar. I would soon learn that that was simply the beginning.

As we began making plans, Jannai informed me that she was a promoter. A new term to me – but now I know it means she would provide Nike running shoes for my speaking tour in Central California. Our early arrival was her green light for securing more speaking venues. Donned with her thinking cap, her praying knees and her network of business contacts, she finally was happy with the following schedule.

JudySquier_Agenda2I smiled as I listened to Jannai’s introduction to my talks, which always went this way:

“I met Judy Squier 20 years ago during the hardest time in my life. My sister told me that my four children were going to be watched by a woman without legs. I didn’t know anything more about Judy but I cried because I knew God was in it. That evening I went home picked up the book I was reading Elisabeth Elliot’s book A Path Through Suffering. In Chapter 18, Perfectly Adapted, Elisabeth said this: My friend Judy Squier of Portola Valley, California, is one of the most cheerful, radiant women I know. I call it a total God Miracle to have crossed paths with Judy. I say she was born with no legs but she walks with Jesus. And her books all are a walk with Jesus.”

Five action-packed days with this promoter-extraordinaire convinced me she was a modern day Henny Penny. Instead of declaring, ‘The sky is falling,’ she bombarded her area with emails, text messages, voice mails and face to face announcements: “My friend, Judy Squier, born without legs is coming to town. You can choose from five venues to hear her.’

Jannai made sure the Sierra Star newspaper knew I was coming. How do I know? Reporter Brian Wilkinson e-mailed me requesting photos, followed by an article a week before my arrival. Reporter Morgan Voorhis was the first to arrive at my library talk, printing a second article the week after my visit.

Her article ‘Jesus and Judy’ to me provided a supreme compliment.


Jannai was not only the promoter extraordinaire, but she wow-ed the Squier’s with five days of heaven-on-earth hospitality and ultimate care for my every need:

  • Jannai’s breakfasts, lunches and dinners catered to my gluten, dairy and egg allergies. I watched as she joyfully altered recipes, including the homemade desserts she provided for the intimate afternoon with Author Judy at the Oakhurst Library. Our fine dining highlight included scrumptious lettuces from the Pero’s high tower gardening apparatus on the deck outside the dining room window. (
  • Jannai provided On Guard essential oil in a diffuser while I slept (to heal an alarmingly scratchy throat and hoarse voice) plus a sample bottle of Breathe to put on throat and chest before speaking to prevent coughing. A small vial of Doterra’s peppermint pearls landed in my speaker’s tool kit to take-as-needed right before a speech. (
  • Plus Jannai became my personal make-up artist. Down on her knees, she beautified my eyes, and complexion, creating a ruby red smile for each speaking engagement. (

JudySquier_Makeup4bThe crowning touch – above and beyond Jannai’s investment of time and energy promoting my speaking venues, hosting the Squier’s in her home, accompanying me to speaking engagement, was a one-of-a-kind gift of love. Jannai, who is completing a Master’s Degree in Sculpturing in Feb 2016, squeezed in a sculpture session creating a mold of my left hand. She dearly loves how our Redeemer God transformed my hand of shame into a testimony of His faithfulness and Glory. She and I agree that only He could make a three point sermon out of a three fingered hand.
1) Can’t do life without God;
2) Life is difficult;
3) Jesus shows up!


Jannai creating the hand mold


Jannai’s sculpture of Judy’s left hand

Thank you, entrepreneur and dear sister-in-Christ Jannai, for memories I will savor into eternity and thank You, Jesus, for the beauty only You can create out of the broken pieces and places of each of our lives.

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My Favorite Oswald Chambers Devotion

My Favorite Oswald Chambers Devotion, August 2 in My Utmost for His Highest.
I dedicate it to my Aunt Ruth, born on August 2, 1918, who loved Little Judy through thick and thin.

The Teaching of Adversity
August 2

In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. —John 16:33

The typical view of the Christian life is that it means being delivered from all adversity. But it actually means being delivered in adversity, which is something very different. “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. No evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling…” (Psalm 91:1,10)— the place where you are at one with God.

If you are a child of God, you will certainly encounter adversities, but Jesus says you should not be surprised when they come. “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” He is saying, “There is nothing for you to fear.” The same people who refused to talk about their adversities before they were saved often complain and worry after being born again because they have the wrong idea of what it means to live the life of a saint.

God does not give us overcoming life— He gives us life as we overcome. The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength. Are you asking God to give you life, liberty, and joy? He cannot, unless you are willing to accept the strain. And once you face the strain, you will immediately get the strength. Overcome your own timidity and take the first step. Then God will give you nourishment— “To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life…” (Revelation 2:7). If you completely give of yourself physically, you become exhausted. But when you give of yourself spiritually, you get more strength. God never gives us strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the moment. Our temptation is to face adversities from the standpoint of our own common sense. But a saint can “be of good cheer” even when seemingly defeated by adversities, because victory is absurdly impossible to everyone, except God.

ScatterJoyPhotos_Matthew24-35Photo Credit Naphtalie Joiner with Scatter Joy Photos

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July Speaking Fun & Frenzy

It all began with this prayer journal entry two months ago:

“Lord, would You please add some new venues to my speaking calendar for 2015?”   

The Good Lord answered my prayer through my longtime friend, Jannai, who at the onset  told me her gifting  was to promote  speakers. She began by promoting  me to her pastor at Yosemite Lakes Community Church in Coarsegold, California. He said, “Let’s have Judy do two Sunday morning services sometime this summer.” That’s how my July 12th speech in Central California landed on the calendar.

A week later, I had this note from Jannai: “Judy, I’m going to promote your visit in the area and see if we can arrange more speaking engagements.”

Full speed ahead, Jannai  began contacting friends and organizations within an hour drive from her home in Ahwahnee. Here’s the result of this promoter extraordinaire’s hard work.

JudySquier_Flyer_July2015Needless to say  each venue required writing  a speech to fit its unique audience. Here’s the plan:

  • For the Oakhurst Library: I’ll couple the tale of my life story with my personal experience of  writing and self-publishing  three books
  • For the Walk for Life fundraiser: I will give voice to babies who are aborted because they are  broken and to those who are unbroken but unwanted
  • For Fresno’s Rehabilitation Hospital: I will talk about my early years in Shriners Hospital, my 50 years of walking on artificial limbs & my amazing life with a disability
  • For Yosemite Lakes Church’s two services: I will share my testimony highlighting how human brokenness sets the stage for God to intercept and WOW our lives

To God be the GLORY is my prayer! And I welcome your prayers as I take on five blessed speaking opportunities packed into the upcoming weekend. Obviously God and Jannai are confident this seventy year old is not a candidate for Couch-Potato-hood YET!

Sierra Star Judy Squier Article Above: Another outcome of Jannai’s public relations gusto is this newspaper article in the Sierra Star! View the full article here.

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A Lesson from a Blackbird

My eyes follow the busy chatter of hungry finches and sparrows breakfasting at their suspended bird feeder outside our condo in Mountain View, CA.

I love bird watching. I savor their sweet bliss… until I discover a feathery black bundle plopped on the ground in the bird seed below. A legless blackbird – unable to stand, a crawler amidst the agility of the others around him.

JudySquier_Blackbird_8050b“Poor crippled bird,” my sad heart whispers. Suddenly his plight  is mine, as I remember my childhood years. Legless Judy – a crawler, low to the ground, envious of the agility of others.

His very presence interrupts my sad remembrance as I hear him shout, “We’re survivors!” Slow-to-believe am I until suddenly his strong wings lift him amidst his feathered friends from the ground to the sky.

He can fly!

We, too can fly, dear ones.

Let’s use our God-given wings today and rise above whatever is causing us to grovel.

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Out of No Where – Accidents Happen

Recently the Squier’s and our friends the Evans drove to Lake Tahoe to volunteer at a Joni and Friends Marriage Getaway. Enroute a deer leaped over the guardrail catching our left headlight, bumper. In shock we watched the dead deer’s body spin circles across the wet highway.

Yes, a trip to the auto body shop would be necessary, but thankfully our car was drive able. Not only drive able, but thank You, Lord, the air bags did not deploy and the damage was to the bumper, not the windshield.

We praised God for His protection, at the same time we grieved the dead Bambi. We concluded had we intercepted a second earlier our drive to Tahoe would have come to a screaming halt.

We God’s grace in life’s good and yes, in life’s bad experiences. And His grace goes as far as to bring a smile to our unsettled memories.

Back at home safe in Oregon, we awoke the first morning to a special gift from our Heavenly Father – an alive deer – a spittin’ image of the dead one on the roadside – grazing peacefully on our lush front lawn.

Behold, I make all things new,” promises the Lord God in the book of Revelation.

And there’s more: He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

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Moving on to the Next Celebration…

2015 fleeteth … I can’t believe we’re in the merry month of May! Mom was right: “Time moves faster the older you get.” My birthday came and went with 70 balloons now a sweet memory and two gold shoe birthday cakes long gone!


I served the left cake to my hospital chaplain team & the right one to my family!

I served the left cake to my hospital chaplain team & the right one to my family!

It’s time to celebrate the safe arrival of Grandbaby #5 – Quinn Elizabeth Belikoff born on April 22. She’s a beauty from head to toe and of course this Granny Goose loves her feet more than anything.

Imagine my surprise when during the first week of her life our son-in-law Beau called and said, “Goose, Quinn Elizabeth has your legs.”

“She has my legs, what do you mean?” While my mind tripped over his words, my stumps grabbed for a pair of dancing shoes.

Thank You, Lord, for Quinn's precious feet!

Thank You, Lord, for Quinn’s precious feet!

Looking at Quinn’s legs, my soul smiles at God’s kept promise from Joel 2:25 – I, the Lord, will restore the years the locust has eaten…

It’s been seven decades since I arrived without thighs or knees and with five toes missing in action; now seventy years later the Belikoff family declares that their daughter Quinn bears my legs. For me their declaration means God did what He promised. He squelched the locusts of exclusion, hurtful stares, missing out, the decade of not having children because my birth defect might be genetic, the years of performing the legs-job- motherhood-tasks – without legs. All the above and more He not only squelched, but redeemed – using my disability for His good purpose and for my good as well. The bottom line: He made the pain and shame of my missing pieces worth it and more. Two generations later Elohim, Creator God, has brought my incomplete legs to completion. Yes, my soul smiles at what is humanly intangible, but made tangible by God.

As you celebrate with me I want to celebrate with you. Let’s begin with the question: What have the locusts eaten in your life? Your dreams? Your plans or hopes for yourself or someone you love? Your health? Your youth? Your retirement funds? Life as you’ve known it?

In this very pit of heart ache is where God wants to meet you. He is there. You are not alone. Are you ready to release your tight grip, and receive His promise: ‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD,plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’ – Jeremiah 29:11 NASB

His plans include a life hidden in Him, daily feasting on His words in the Bible and fellowshipping with others who long to know Him and to be known by Him.

Little by little you will see His footprints and surprises in the last place you would expect. So grab your I-never-thought-I’d-wear-you-dancing-shoes and let Jesus whirl you around on the dance floor of your life. Lean in close to hear Him whisper, “I’m wild about you.”

As you lean into Him, receive His hug with the words of one of my favorite songs:

The Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head for love is passing by

Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live

Now your burden’s lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain

So sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live

And like a new born baby
Don’t be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk sometimes we fall

So fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain

Then cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live

Ohh, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can’t contain your joy inside

Then dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on glory’s side

And fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live

Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live


Celebrating the merry month of May with a bouquet honoring our newest grand baby Quinn Elizabeth AND our ever present Jesus!!

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